Johnathan Walton is an Emmy-winning former TV reporter and current reality TV producer who has written and produced shows for NBC, ABC, HBO, Disney+, Discovery Channel, and many others. He is also host, writer, and executive producer of the podcast Queen of the Con.
What’s the big idea?
Little do most people know, scammers are everywhere. Even worse, you probably know some and are only unaware because you haven’t become their target. By learning the red flags that expose a con artist, you can protect yourself from becoming another victim.
Below, Johnathan shares five key insights from his new book, Anatomy of a Con Artist: The 14 Red Flags to Spot Scammers, Grifters, and Thieves. Listen to the audio version—read by Johnathan himself—below, or in the Next Big Idea App.
1. Con artists don’t outsmart you.
Con artists are not smarter than you. Con artists out-feel you. They use your emotions against you because once you start making decisions with your heart instead of your head, you will get scammed.
I got conned out of close to $100,000 by a woman who had masqueraded as my neighbor and best friend for four years. I had no idea she was a professional con artist. She also scammed literally everyone around me. I would go on to find 46 other victims that lived in different states—Florida, California (where I’m living), Maine, Michigan, Tennessee, New York—and international victims in the UK and Ireland. It was insane. She was a professional con artist.
She had tricked her way into my life. She became my best friend. She became my sister, essentially, and I loved her. Keep in mind, I’m a happily married gay man, so there was nothing sexual involved. At the time when we met, my family had disowned me for being gay, and she confided in me that her family had disowned her, too.
That’s when she started unpacking her scam. She claimed to have a 25-million-euro inheritance coming. She was supposed to receive a hefty chunk of it, but her cousins were trying to get her removed from the inheritance.
“They use your emotions against you because once you start making decisions with your heart instead of your head, you will get scammed.”
I tried to help her because she was a damsel in distress. I immediately bonded with her because, having both been disowned, I really felt for her and cared. That was her plan. She out-felt me. She hooked into my emotional core with this fake story, and I fell for it. I loved her as much as any gay man can love a woman, and that love blinded me to the scam.
When you hear about a con story, it’s easy to say, “Oh, how could you be so stupid?” Well, they are not stupid. A professional con artist bypasses intellect to form an emotional bond. They get a person to care about something or care about them.
Another victim my con artist scammed was going through a divorce. He was a guy she met on a dating app, and on their first date, he told her about being unhappy with his child custody arrangement. Well, my con artist convinced him that, as luck and fate would have it, she works for the LA County Court system as a child custody investigator. She told him she could help him get a better custody arrangement with his kids.
This guy was an engineer in Newport Beach—super smart and accomplished—but he was immediately drawn to her offer. That set the stage for her con. Like all con artists, she had weaponized his own emotions against him.
2. Con artists are everywhere.
There is a widespread misconception that most people believe they can spot a con artist. They think it’s that person calling on the phone or hitting you up at the gas station with a fabricated story of woe.
Well, I’ve got news. Con artists are people you know, and there is probably a con artist in your life right now. The only reason you don’t know they are a con artist is that they haven’t scammed you yet. Victims are not talking about or reporting these con artists.
After I went public with my story of getting conned and putting my con artist in jail, my mother made a confession to me. There was a woman (who I will leave unnamed because she was never charged) who had been a family friend for my entire upbringing. She was best friends with my mom and friends with many of my family members. She came to Christmas and Thanksgiving. Turns out, she scammed my mom out of $20,000 and tried to get her for more. My mom never told a soul. My mom later found that another friend had also been scammed by this same woman for hundreds of thousands of dollars.
“The only reason you don’t know they are a con artist is that they haven’t scammed you yet.”
Con artists are everywhere, and in my book, I lay out the 14 red flags of every con artist. Once you know those red flags, you can spot them a mile away. But if you don’t know those red flags, then you’ll think this con artist is just a kind and charismatic person who offers to pay for things and wants to help you, but needs some money.
The way con artists execute their cons, they don’t even ask for money. My con artist didn’t ask me for money. She created a situation in which I offered to help her because I wanted to rescue her.
3. How con artists keep their victims quiet.
There are millions of con artists around the world. One of the main reasons victims stay quiet is (red flag number 13) too much information, or TMI. When you first meet a con artist, they will offer to help you (red flag number one). After they offer to help, they are too kind, too quick (red flag number two). They take you out to restaurants and pay for dinners. They buy you gifts. They do nice things for you. They babysit your kids. They will walk your dog. You can’t help but love them because who doesn’t love someone showering you with kindness?
And then, they use the TMI technique. They will share the most intimate details of their lives and trust you with their deepest, darkest secrets. That tricks you into believing that you can trust them in return. If someone reveals their big secret to you early on, you feel like you have to reveal something back. Human beings reflexively match the behavior shown to us. Someone waves hello, so we wave hello back. Someone asks how we’re doing, so we say we’re doing well and ask them how they’re doing. Professional con artists know about this social engineering and exploit the fact that if they reveal their deep, dark secrets, they will inspire you to reveal your deep, dark secrets.
Only their dark secrets are fake. Yours are real. By the time the con artist scams you out of money and you’re thinking about reporting them to the police or telling a friend, you know that that con artist could expose your secrets. That keeps victims quiet.
4. Professional con artists use their cell phone screens to sell their stories.
Technology is red flag number six. A con artist can create worlds that do not exist by breathing life into them on a digital screen. My con artist created a whole family in Ireland who were out to get her. She showed me text messages. How many times has someone held up their phone and said, “Look what so-and-so just texted me.” Did you ever think it might not be who they said it was? Instead, it was a Google account they created to text themselves as another character in their fake story.
“Be suspicious if you meet someone new and they’re relying on their phone to give you evidence of their story.”
My con artist would show me elaborate, hateful text threads from her three cousins and uncle. She also showed me emails from her barrister talking about her inheritance. Never for a second did I think any of that was fake. I just assumed this whole thing was really happening. She was just using Google accounts to text and email herself as different characters from her fake story. Be suspicious if you meet someone new and they’re relying on their phone to give you evidence of their story.
I’ve investigated many cases involving con artists. Technology is a common theme. They’ll show you their bank balance, but it’s actually a pop-up screen that only appears to be logged into their bank account. This page can show you millions of dollars, but it’s a fake graphic. So be suspicious if someone is always telling you a story through their phone screen.
5. Professional con artists have good day jobs.
Red flag number nine is a good day job. Professional con artists all have day jobs, but those day jobs are a cover. Their main job is scamming you. I’ve worked with victims of con artists with a job title at the mayor’s office or as a financial investor for some big company. Professional con artists have day jobs because that gives them legitimacy.
You would be suspicious of a person who didn’t have a job. How are they making money? Are they a trust fund baby? It’s weird, and you’d start to ask questions that might lead to considering whether they are a scammer. Con artists are aware of this, so they adhere to societal norms. They make sure they have a career.
But that career does not bring them the satisfaction that scamming people does. Most con artists are psychopaths who get a thrill from the con. Creating these worlds is fun for them. It gives them a God-like sense of amusement to watch all of us who they cast as unwitting actors in their movie. They get off on the thrill of watching us react to worlds that they know aren’t real, but they made them real for us.
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